Four Goals for 2012

Four goals I have for 2012:

1. Read through the Bible - I have done this several times but it has been a few years and decided this would be a good year to do this again.

2. Listen to through the Bible with my children - I plan to play audio of the Bible for my kids while we are playing/working around the house. I plan to get through the entire Bible at least once and then will likely repeat several books. It is a passive way to surround my children with Scripture.

3. Read 2,012 pages of great Christian biographies & classic literature aloud to my children - I started reading reading biographies to our children this year each day before nap time. I didn't keep very good track which book or how many pages (we read 3 or 4 biographies). This year I plan to expand it to include some classic literature and do a better job recording what we read with the goal of 2,012 pages in 2012.

4. Declutter 2,012 items from our house - This past year I have been convicted by how much time the "stuff" in our lives takes away from time I could be using to be a better wife and mother. I purged & donated over 30 garbage bags of stuff this year. This year I plan to keep track with the goal of purging 2,012 items in 2012 (about 38 items per week). I am super excited about this goal to help move us toward a less cluttered life.

There are a few other goals that are floating around in my mind but I haven't taken the time to sit down and flesh them out into manageable steps. I've also found it is much more successful for me to set a few goals at a time and once they have become habits then add more. If I try to bite off to many changes at once I am tempted to just give up on all of the goals. I am excited to see what God has in store for our family over the next year!

Happy New Year!

Four Years Ago...

Four years ago today my eyes welled with tears as the doctor placed you in my arms.

Four years ago today I became a Mommy.

The past four years have been filled so many precious memories as I have watched you grow.

I love how you make me laugh.

I love to listen to you pray.

I love to see your eyes light up when you are excited.

I love to watch you take care of your little brother and sister.

We chose the middle name Matthew because it means "Gift from God" and you have truly been a precious gift from God to our family.

Happy 4th Birthday William Matthew!

4 Days Old

1 Year Old

2 Years Old

3 Years Old

4 Years Old

Waiting...

This is a continuation of the story of this past weekend. On Monday we headed on a few hours north to my aunt & uncle's house to pick up my grandma (the original reason for this trip). We knew that the pastoral search committee had a meeting scheduled for Monday night to discuss if they wanted Scott to return to officially candidate.

Waiting is hard.

As we drove Monday we talked about how we were already falling in love with the people at Colon Baptist Church. We felt like we were leaving a piece of our hearts at the church which was so hard because we also knew we may never return. We were so surprised that we could become so attached to a church in just one day.

We spent a lot of time praying and waiting for a call from the chair of the search committee. The call finally came Monday after their meeting. He told Scott that there were several people who really think that he is the guy for their church but they have three other candiates already lined up to speak and after discussing it they decided to wait until they have heard the other men before they take a vote on whether to have Scott return to candidate.

Of course that means more waiting...waiting 2 months until the middle to end of January.

God led us to this church to minister for a weekend. We got a taste of full time ministry. We enjoyed sweet fellowship and after just a day felt that we were leaving a piece of our hearts with this group of believers.

And then God asks us to wait.

I mentioned in my previous post that Sunday night Scott preached on Caleb. As Scott and I discussed how hard it will be to wait 2 months God used that sermon to encourage and challenge us.

Caleb was given a taste of the Promise Land as one of the twelve spies but then God told him he would have to wander 40 more years in the wilderness before he would be allowed to enter and conquer. Two months is nothing compared to 40 years!

While our heart's desire would be that Colon Baptist Church would call Scott to be their next pastor we are trying to hold that desire with open hands. We truly want God's best for our lives and for the people in this church. We are praying if Scott is not the person for this church that God will make that clear both to us and the people at this church.

We will be praying daily for Colon Baptist Church over the next two months. It is hard because our hearts ache to serve there but we are learning anew what it means to pray "Thy will be done".

The Next Chapter

Recently I wrote Part 1 and Part 2 of this story.

This past Sunday we were able to add another chapter to the story.

It is hard to describe our emotions as we headed out on the 20min drive from the hotel to Colon Baptist Church on Sunday morning. Scott and I were excited and nervous. It has been a long time and the realization that after years of seminary we were actually heading to begin the candidating process at a church!

We were/are still in amazement at all the doors God has opened for this weekend. When planning a trip in the middle of November you are never quite sure what the weather will be like. Earlier in the week it snowed here in Iowa and in Michigan but the day we traveled it was almost 60 degrees!

We arrived and got the kids settled in their class and nursery then headed for the adult Sunday school class. It was so nice to be able to finally meet these people that we have been praying for the past several weeks. We loved hearing the people interact during Sunday school. We enjoyed hearing them share prayer requests and news of events in the small town of Colon, MI.

Scott preached on 1 Corinthians 13 about love in the church Sunday morning. He was told by many people that it was just what they needed to hear. It was so encouraging to see the Holy Spirit using Scott to encourage believers.

After the morning service a couple in the church had our family and the families of the pastoral search committee to their house for lunch. It was such a wonderful time of fellowship and getting better acquainted with people. Scott was able to sit and talk with the search committee for over an hour answering questions and sharing ministry goals/ideas etc.

Sunday night Scott preached on the faith and character of Caleb. After church we were able to spend some more time visiting and meeting several of the teens that come on Sunday nights for Word of Life.

On the drive back to the hotel we discussed the day. Both Scott and I were amazed by how at home we felt with these people we had just met. We were amazed to discover that only after one day we were already falling in love with the people in this church.

Then the realization hit us that after this wonderful day of ministry and fellowship we now had to endure the difficult process of waiting and praying for God's will to be accomplished.

Happy Birthday Ellen!

Today our sweet little girl turns one year old!

It has been a day of ruffles, pink frosting, a new baby doll, and giggles.

It has also been a day to reflect on the goodness fait

hfulness of God. I shared earlier this year about Accident Day. We chose the name Fidelity "faithful" as a life long reminder of God's goodness and faithfulness to our family to bless us with a precious little life just a week after sparing Scott's life.

We did not know at the time but God would again prove to be faithful in preserving my life after her delivery.

Today on Ellie's first birthday I can't help but reflect on her birth. There were some complications and I ended up losing a lot of blood. Unfortunately no one realized exactly how much blood I had lost until it reached dangerously low point.

I will always remember holding my precious newborn girl while Scott quickly signed release forms for emergency surgery.

I will always remember having to say good bye to Scott and to leave him to care for Ellie while I was rushed into surgery when she was just 2 hours old.

But most of all I will always remember God's faithful protection and once again choosing to give us a precious new life and allowing my life to be spared following her birth.

Happy Birthday Ellen Fidelity Kroeger!

Thankful Chain

I can hardly believe it is already November! I enjoy these weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. I wanted to share one Thanksgiving tradition our family has.

During the month of November as a family we make a thankful chain.

I originally got the idea from my Aunt Barb who did this with her family when I was a child. My family adopted the tradition and the year Scott and I were dating we decided to continue the tradition.

Each family member is assigned (or gets to choose) a color of construction paper. I then cut those up into strips one for each day from Nov 1 to Thanksgiving day. Every day each member of the family choose one thing they are thankful for that day. I write it on a slip of paper with their color and staple it in a circle to make a paper chain. There can be no duplicate entries for the month.

I have a small notebook that I use to record the items that are said each day. It makes it easy that way to check to see if someone has already "taken" an item earlier in the month plus I have been able to use the same notebook for several years and it is fun to look back and see what we each were thankful for throughout the years. For example on November 1, 2005 (the year we were dating) I was thankful for my family and Scott was thankful for my helping him with his homework.

Here's the notebook where I keep everything recorded.

By the time Thanksgiving arrives we have a nice long paper chain filled with the things we have been thankful for throughout the month. On Thanksgiving Day we find a time to sit down as a family and open each link to the chain and read through once again the items we had listed during the month. It is fun if there are extended family members (siblings, grandparents etc) that have been listed we are able to show them the link with their name and let them know we are thankful for them.

Here is our chain after today with our four links (Scott, Ruth, Will & James). I am looking forward to seeing it grow this month as we reflect on God's goodness to our family and the many reasons we have to be thankful.

And So It Begins Part 2

The second part of this story picks up the day after my last post. Last Monday (a week ago today) was a fairly normal day. Mondays are Scott's day off so we spent the day working around the house. We talked about how the previous day's sermons Scott had been able to preach and about how encouraging it had been to have been contacted by a church. We talked a little more about getting a hotel room for Saturday night so we could visit the church on the Sunday we were in Michigan but didn't finalize any plans.

That night Scott and I had the opportunity to attend a banquet fundraising even for the Bible camp that we attend during the summer. While we were there the man from the pastoral search committee from this church in Michigan called back. We missed the call because we were in the banquet and because of the hour time difference it was too late to return the call after we were done. He didn't leave a message so we were curious as to why he would be calling back again since when he talked to Scott on Friday he said that if they wanted him to come candidate they would be calling sometime in December to set up a time.

Tuesday morning Scott got a hold of the chair of the pastoral committee and this is where the story gets really interesting. Apparently on Sunday the pastoral search committee was looking over the preaching schedule for the month of November to see who was speaking which week and they discovered they had somehow overlooked November 13 and did not have a speaker scheduled.

They asked Scott to some and begin the candidating process at their church that weekend!

He asked Scott if we had been praying that it would work for him to speak that weekend (which we hadn't but had been earnestly praying for God to make His will clear to us). He laughed and told Scott "Well someone is pulling the strings for things to work out for this weekend."

The church also offered to pay to get us a hotel room for both Saturday and Sunday night (since Scott will be preaching both services on Sunday) so it worked out well that we had not placed a reservation yet on a room.

We are still amazed at how God has worked the timing of all of this. We don't know if this is where God will choose to have us serve long term but He has made it VERY clear that He wants us there on November 13.

Please be praying for us as this weekend quickly approaches. Our prayer is that God's will be done and He is glorified through this process. We are praying both the church and Scott and I will have wisdom to be able to discern God's will.

I told you all at the beginning of this story I do not know how it will end but it has been quite an adventure so far.

And So It Begins Part 1

I am going to start telling this story but I have to be honest with you and let you know that even I don't fully know how the story will end.

As most of you know my husband, Scott, graduated from seminary last spring. Over the summer he started making contacts and sending out resumes to begin the process of finding a pastoral position in a church.

Last Wednesday my aunt asked me if it would be possible for me to make a trip up to Michigan sometime in November to pick up my grandma and bring her back to Iowa to spend the holidays. The original plan had been for her to bring her down but many circumstances had arisen making it no longer a possibility for my aunt to make the trip.

At first I was not at all sure that it would work. It is about 9 hour one way trip from here to my aunt's house and it would be very difficult for me to make the trip alone with our three kids. Then I thought maybe if Scott could get a day off work we could make it a three day weekend trip as a family. I had been wanting to take Scott up to Frankenmuth, MI to see Bronner's, the world's largest Christmas store, and thought that this might be an opportunity to take a quick trip as a family.

Scott and I talked about it and he decided to check if he could get time off work. There was only one weekend between now and Thanksgiving that would work due to other responsibilities we have so it would have to be the weekend of November 13. Right now things are very busy at work and a 1 1/2 weeks before Thanksgiving is some of the busiest time at a company that ships frozen & refrigerated foods (pies, turkey, ham etc). He asked about getting time off and learned that he would be able to get not just one but two days off so we could leave Saturday, November 12 and return home Tuesday, November 15.

The day after my aunt had asked me if we could come out and we had decided that it would work for us to come out that weekend in November I half jokingly told Scott that we should see if there were any churches in Michigan that needed someone to preach that Sunday. About a month before this Scott had sent his resume to the Michigan Regular Baptist state association representative but hadn't heard back about any churches looking for pastors. Scott laughed and said "That would really have to be a God thing because it is only 3 weeks away and churches would have speakers lined up". Plus we had not been contacted by any churches yet. Honestly as far as contacting churches Scott and I realized that with Thanksgiving and Christmas approaching most churches would not be actively looking for pastoral candidates to come until after the New Year.

Scott left for work and about 2:00 that afternoon the phone rang. It was a many on the pastoral search committee. He had received Scott's resume and was calling to see if Scott had taken a position anywhere yet. I took his name & number and told him Scott could call him back the next morning.

Friday morning before Scott left for work he called and talked to the chairman of the pastoral search committee. They talked were able to have a good conversation. Scott was asked several questions about his beliefs on certain issues and was given a little more information about the church. Scott told him we would be in Michigan the Sunday of November 13 if they needed someone to preach. The man told Scott that right now he was just trying to go through the resumes he had been given because some of them had already taken positions. The church was not planning to start the candidating process with anyone until January. He also told Scott that November is their missionary month and they already have speakers lined up for the whole month. Scott told him to let him know if for any reason their speaker for the 13th fell through. Scott was encouraged by the conversation and by the fact that he had actually been contacted by a church for the first time!

After the phone call Scott and I got to talking and we decided we would like if it would work to visit the church on that Sunday just to give us the opportunity to meet the people and see if we thought it might at all be a good fit for us. Since we were already going to be in that general area (as oppose to 9 hours away) and we would want to go to church somewhere on Sunday. We started looking at hotel rates in the area with the plan to stay on Saturday night somewhere nearby if we could find a good deal. We did locate a few with good rates but Scott was busy preparing two sermons to preach at our church on Sunday so we decided to wait until after the weekend to book any reservations for that Saturday night.

Our pastor was out of town on vacation and had asked Scott to preach both services Sunday. Unfortunately Ellie was sick with a fever so I was not able to attend. Scott felt like the sermons went well and overall at the end of the weekend we found ourselves greatly encouraged at the Lord's leading in our lives. Even though we still didn't have any definite prospects for candidating the combination of being contacted by this church and Scott having the opportunity to preach both services rekindled a deep desire to be in full time ministry.

Little did we know but God still had another chapter to write in this story.

Mice + Lab Work = Lesson in God's Grace

I hate mice! They are dirty, nasty, repulsive vermin!

We have been in this house for almost 4 1/2 years and we have heard mice in our attic in past years but not in the main house. Well a couple days ago that changed. I was up feeding Ellie and saw one run along the edge of the wall.

Needless to day we are in all out war against this little pest because the thought of sharing my house with a rodent repulses me.

Yesterday morning I took Will to have his annual lab work done for his allergy testing. The test requires them to draw two vials of blood from his arm which is obviously not pleasant. I held Will on my lap as the lab tech poked started getting things ready. Will started whimpering in anticipation and when she put the needle in the tears flowed and through his tears he cried out, "Mommy" pleading with me to have it stop.

As I was driving home I found myself thinking about how much I despise mice and how I strongly desire him to end up dead in a trap. It was then that my feelings about the mouse and the recent events in the lab collided in my mind.

To a holy God I am dirty, nasty, repulsive vermin!

I thought about how I held my son as he wept and pleaded for me to stop the pain. The only reason I allowed him to be hurt was because I knew it was for his own good. I certainly would never have allowed him to have his blood drawn or be injured in any way to save the life of a mouse. I mean the very thought is ridiculous! I mean that mouse doesn't love me, it's only goal in life is to seek his own good, it destroys and defecates on my property. That mouse deserves death and I want it to die!

My eyes welled with tears as I was reminded anew of the sacrifice God made when he sent his son to suffer and die for me.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 6:23

Christ died for me, dirty, nasty, repulsive vermin, so that I can live!

WOW!

Because of Christ's death I am no longer dirty, nasty, repulsive vermin. I am child of God.

So the lingering question is why continue to live like a mouse?

"Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts." Romans 6:11-12

The End of Our 6 Month Challenge

Yesterday, September 1, officially ended our 6 month challenge. God has been so very good to our family!

When Scott and I decided to do this challenge we set the goal of paying off $10,000. That would be a little over 1/3 of our total debt. We thought that it would be quite challenging to reach that amount but we wanted a challenge so we set the number high (we are a one income family and $10,000 is about 1/3 of our total annual income).

The beginning of March I put up a piece of graft paper. Each small square represented $10 of debt. I divided it into larger $1,000 squares. I labeled these squares 1-10 (for our $10,000 goal). The paper had two extra squares that I left blank (the magnet is over these extra squares but they were not numbered). Since our goal was $10,000 and knew that would be a stretch so I only numbered ten squares.


Well THREE MONTHS into our challenge we went over the $10,000 mark! Several times in those first few months God provided money for us from unexpected sources.

At the end of our 6 month challenge we have paid off $12438.06! Our entire graph chart is full plus an additional $438! (I know there are a lot of exclamation marks in this post but we are very excited!!)

This is what our chart looks like today at the end of our challenge.

We still have quite a way to go before we are debt free. This challenge has been such an encouragement to us to see the many ways God can provide. We have learned many valuable lessons on frugality and many money saving sacrifices we chose to make have now become habits and no longer seem big sacrifices (although I am very thankful that we were able to find a good deal on internet so I can try blogging again).

O to Grace How Great a Debtor

Debt has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks as we prepared to start our 6 month challenge. I often find myself going about my daily household tasks looking for ways that we can cut costs. We have a chart on our refrigerator where each month we will mark off the amount of debt we have been able to pay off.

We have chosen for the next six months to live daily like someone who owes a great debt.

A few days ago as I found myself again going over our expenses and searching for ways to shave off an extra dollar here or there to put toward our challenge and I found myself humming the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Many Blessings". As I worked I hum/sang through the words until I got to the fourth verse and was suddenly struck by these lines:

"O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be"

Over the past few weeks I have spent many hours pondering and planning how to find ways to pay our monetary debt. I have been "daily constrained" to try to pay our debt. As these words ran through my mind the Holy Spirit struck with great conviction.

Do I truly live my daily life in a way demonstrates that I am a great debtor to God's grace?

I have spent hours pouring over menus, shopping lists, and food prices in my quest to pay back monetary debt. We have cut out quick convenience foods and opted to make things from scratch. But how often in my spiritual life am I willing to take the effort of preparing a spiritual meal from "scratch" rather than just grabbing a nice quick spiritual convenience meal from a devotional book, or a quick passage?

I mentioned in my previous post that I was looking forward to what God would teach us through this 6 month challenge and here just about a week after starting He has convicted me to spend the next 6 months not only learning to live daily as someone who is constrained to pay a great monetary debt but more importantly to learn how to live daily as someone who is "to grace a debtor".

Romans 6:17-18

"But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed,and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness."

6 Month Challenge

Today, March 1, 2011, is the beginning of a sort of contest for our family. We have decided that over the next 6 months we are going to see how much of our student loan debt we can get paid off. We have been paying cash for Scott's tuition for about 5 years but we have loans from college and seminary from before that time.

In about two months Scott will be graduating from seminary and we are burdened to pay off as much debt as quickly as possible so that we can be ready to serve wherever God would lead our family. Paying off debt is a pretty boring and kind of depressing thing so we have decided to try to make it a little more fun for us.

So over the next 6 months we will be pinching and scraping together every extra dollar that we can to put toward paying down the principal amount on our debt. It will be difficult as we have decided to cut things that we have previously considered necessities. We will be getting rid of our home internet which will be a big adjustment and means that I won't have many opportunities to blog or keep up with my friends on Facebook.

We are excited to see what God is planning to teach us through this. We pray that not only will He bless us financially but that we will also be drawn closer to Him as a family. We will also be using this time to pray and seek God's will concerning the next step for our family. We covet the prayers of our friends and family during this time and I will keep you update on our lives as much as I can over the next few months.

Accident Day

This morning Scott took time to give the kids and me an extra hug and kiss when saying good-bye.

That's because today is "Accident Day."

One year ago today started out completely normal. It was a cold and windy February day but after a long winter of LOTS of snow we were glad to see the sun shining and no snow in the forecast for the day.

The day was really completely ordinary for all of us - well that is until it wasn't.

It was a completely normal day and like we often do Scott and I use his 1/2hr drive home from work to talk on the phone and catch up on the events of the day.

I still get a sickish knot in my stomach when I think about the next few minutes. My first thought was something like "Oh great he just put the van in the ditch" but soon realized from the tone in Scott's voice that it was much more serious than being stuck in the ditch.

Scott was not in a ditch. The van hit a patch of black ice caused by blowing snow along with a big gust of wind which sent the van through the median into the oncoming lane of traffic where it flipped and landed on its side. Fortunately the seatbelt worked just as it was designed but unfortunately that meant that Scott was now suspended in the van unable to get free from the seatbelt. I sat on the other end of the phone listening to my husband as he tried to get free from the seatbelt so he could get out of the van all the while knowing that at any moment a semi or really any other vehicle appear in the lane also unable to stop because of the ice and come crashing into him.

Within seconds of his accident a car came by in the lane Scott had been travelling (not the one he was stuck in). The driver pulled over and ran through the median. He was able to climb in through the back of the van so Scott could push up off of him allowing the seatbelt to release.

I am so amazed and thankful to that man. I do not know who he is and will likely never meet him but he was willing to risk his life by climbing into our van while it was sitting in an ice covered lane of interstate traffic.

Another amazing aspect of this story is that while within seconds of the accident someone had driven by on the opposite side of the interstate and stopped to help during the entire time Scott was stuck in the van (probably about 5 min but it seemed like FOREVER) not one vehicle came by in the side of the interstate where the van was! This is a very major interstate and even in bad weather trucks continue to zoom along this road.

Scott walked away from the accident without as much as a bruise! He was a little sore mainly from being suspended by the seatbelt and struggling to get free but there were no visible marks, scrapes etc on him.

The week after this accident which so easily could have had a very tragic ending was when our daughter was conceived. Today she turned 3 months old and she is in my arms as I type this. When she was born we gave her the middle name Fidelity which means "Faithful". One of the reasons she was given that middle name was because of this accident and God's faithfulness to our family by not only sparing Scott's life but then choosing to bless our family with another new life.

Today is "Accident Day" and it is a day to celebrate God's goodness to us.

Naptime and a Reminder of God's Omnipresence

I'll be honest with you all and admit that this Mommy loves nap time. I love the "sound" of silence as soon as the kids are asleep. I usually manage to get about 45min-1hr of precious silence in the middle of the day to spend thinking, praying, exercise, etc to help me make it through to bedtime without completely losing it.

Well unfortunately for me lately James has decided that he does not think nap time is really all that valuable. So when I put him down for nap as soon as the door is closed he will pop out of bed and begin playing or aggravating his older brother. As soon as I open the door to put him back to bed he dashes for his bed or if he is feeling especially tricky he listens for me as I walk down the hall and by the time I get to the door he is already back in bed with a look that says "See Mommy I'm just laying here in bed like you told me."

Anyway this afternoon at nap time he was not wanting to stay in bed. When I opened the door and saw him running back to bed as fast as his little legs would go I was struck by the realization that James knows that when Mommy can see him that he is going to get in trouble for disobeying. And I was suddenly reminded of the omnipresence of God.

On Sunday nights our church has started to go through a video series titled The Truth Project. One of the things that is stressed is the question "Do you believe what you believe is really real?" While we may say that we believe one thing what we actually practice and live out is what we really believe is true. Today as I put James down for his nap I begin to ponder if I truly live my life in a way that shows that I believe that God is omnipresent. In other words do I live in such a way that my actions show that I believe that God is always present with me.

When one of my kids dumps their plate of food on the floor do I respond the same way as I would if God was sitting at the dinner table with us?

When I am trying to prepare a meal and my boys will not stop fighting with each other do I respond the same way I would if God was standing in the kitchen with me?

If God was sitting in my living room would I be tempted to check Facebook instead of spending time talking to Him?

Would I speak sarcastically or in frustration to my husband or children if I truly believed God was in ear shot?

When I am in church do I worship or listen to the sermon in the same way I would if I could see God sitting in the service next to me?

Unfortunately all to often I am like James who thinks obedience is only necessary when a parent is there to see him being naughty. All to often my actions demonstrate that I do not believe that God is always present with me every minute of every day. As I put James back in bed "one more time" I pray that one day he will learn to obey even when he can't see me. I also take a moment to pray that I will learn to demonstrate that same obedience to my heavenly Father.

Happy Birthday Little Sister!

When I was growing up I wanted a sister. I was the oldest and then I had two brothers younger than me. When my second brother was born I was very disappointed that he was not a girl. I was very close to some of my cousins growing up and they had 3 girls in their family. I loved going to visit them.

I wanted to have a sister to share my bedroom.

I wanted someone who would talk and laugh late into the night with me.

I wanted someone to share my clothes.

My friends who had sisters thought I was crazy when I would tell them this.

God did answer my prayers just not in my timing. Twenty-one years ago today my first sister was born. I still remember sitting in my great-grandma's living room when the phone rang. I sat there so anxiously expecting to hear that I had another brother. But much to my surprise and delight at the age of 11 1/2 I had a little sister!

Those of you who know me and my family know that not only did God answer my prayer He gave me more than I could have ever anticipated and I now have four sisters. My sisters are some of my closest friends in my life and I am so very thankful for all of them.

But today I am especially thankful for Rose, my very first sister.

Rose, you will always have a very special place in my heart. You were God's answer to my many years of praying. I have so many memories but these are a few that have come to mind today.

I remember the blizzard the day you were born.

I remember the day you prayed to accept God's gift of salvation.

I remember how excited you were when we got our dog, Sammy.

I remember when you were 8 years old and your picture won best of show in the youth section (up to age 18) and your picture was in the paper.

I remember taking you to the penny change park the day after mom's funeral to celebrate your 11th birthday.

I remember watching with great pride as you gave the valedictorian speech at your high school graduation.

I have so many memories of laughing with you, celebrating holidays, and birthdays.

Twenty-one years ago today my life changed forever when God answered my prayer and gave me a little sister.

"What Is" and "What Will Be"

<sup>Ten years ago today I stood beside a hospital bed holding my mother's hand as she passed from this world into the presence of her Savior. It is a day that I will never forget and even after ten years the memory of that day is still vivid in my mind. The fact that the memory of that day is still so vivid often makes it hard for me to believe that it really had been 10 years.

So many times since my mom died I find myself contemplating many "what ifs" and "why" scenarios. What if my mom had lived to see me graduate from college? What if she had lived to meet my husband? Why couldn't she have lived to attend my wedding or to see my sisters graduate from high school or to see and hold her grandchildren?

Over the years when these thoughts come into my mind they often quickly lead to wondering why God allowed the cancer and why He chose to take my mom when it would seem from a human perspective that she still had a lot to accomplish here on earth.

I have found that dwelling on the "what ifs" and "whys" in life cloud my mind and keep me from focusing on "what is" and "what will be".

These "what ifs" and "whys" take my focus away from the fact that God has blessed me with a loving husband and three precious children.

Most importantly dwelling on the "what ifs" and "whys" take my focus away from "what will be". There are so many passages in Scripture that assure us that for a believer death is hopeful. One day all believers will spend eternity in the presence of God worshiping Him forever! God has used First Thessalonians 4:13-18 to comfort me many times over the past ten years when I am tempted to dwell on the "what ifs and "whys"..

I am so thankful that I serve a God who is sovereign, good, and faithful even when we do not understand.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18
13</sup>But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.

¹⁴For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.

¹⁵For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.

¹⁶For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

¹⁷Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.

¹⁸Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Basket of Rocks

For Christmas this year I gave my husband a basket of rocks.

Yep, you read right a basket of rocks and guess what? He loved it and told me it was the best gift he received this year.

The reason why my husband was so thrilled to receive a basket of rocks because it is a tangible reminder of God's faithfulness to our family.

When the Israelites crossed the Jordan river into the land of Cannan God told them to take 12 stones from the middle of the river (because God had parted the river and they walked across on dry land). When they got to the other side they made a pile of these 12 stones. Joshua tells the people that those rocks are a reminder to their children and grandchildren of the faithfulness of God. When they saw that pile of rocks they were to use that as an opportunity to remember and tell their children about how God had faithfully led them out of Egypt to the land He promised them.

So I gave my husband a basket of rocks. On each rock I used a sharpie marker and wrote down a time when God had shown his faithfulness to our family. All throughout Scripture we are commanded to remember the grace and faithfulness of God. It is so easy to forget especially when difficult and trying circumstances arise.

So if you ever come to visit you will likely see our basket of rocks displayed prominently in our living room. When our children ask why we have a basket of rocks in our living room it will be an opportunity to remind them of God's faithfulness. I look forward to adding many more rocks to our basket as the years pass. I love that every day there is a reminder sitting in our living room reminding me and our family that God is powerful and sovereign in our lives.


Scott opening his basket of rocks.