O to Grace How Great a Debtor

Debt has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks as we prepared to start our 6 month challenge. I often find myself going about my daily household tasks looking for ways that we can cut costs. We have a chart on our refrigerator where each month we will mark off the amount of debt we have been able to pay off.

We have chosen for the next six months to live daily like someone who owes a great debt.

A few days ago as I found myself again going over our expenses and searching for ways to shave off an extra dollar here or there to put toward our challenge and I found myself humming the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Many Blessings". As I worked I hum/sang through the words until I got to the fourth verse and was suddenly struck by these lines:

"O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be"

Over the past few weeks I have spent many hours pondering and planning how to find ways to pay our monetary debt. I have been "daily constrained" to try to pay our debt. As these words ran through my mind the Holy Spirit struck with great conviction.

Do I truly live my daily life in a way demonstrates that I am a great debtor to God's grace?

I have spent hours pouring over menus, shopping lists, and food prices in my quest to pay back monetary debt. We have cut out quick convenience foods and opted to make things from scratch. But how often in my spiritual life am I willing to take the effort of preparing a spiritual meal from "scratch" rather than just grabbing a nice quick spiritual convenience meal from a devotional book, or a quick passage?

I mentioned in my previous post that I was looking forward to what God would teach us through this 6 month challenge and here just about a week after starting He has convicted me to spend the next 6 months not only learning to live daily as someone who is constrained to pay a great monetary debt but more importantly to learn how to live daily as someone who is "to grace a debtor".

Romans 6:17-18

"But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed,and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness."

6 Month Challenge

Today, March 1, 2011, is the beginning of a sort of contest for our family. We have decided that over the next 6 months we are going to see how much of our student loan debt we can get paid off. We have been paying cash for Scott's tuition for about 5 years but we have loans from college and seminary from before that time.

In about two months Scott will be graduating from seminary and we are burdened to pay off as much debt as quickly as possible so that we can be ready to serve wherever God would lead our family. Paying off debt is a pretty boring and kind of depressing thing so we have decided to try to make it a little more fun for us.

So over the next 6 months we will be pinching and scraping together every extra dollar that we can to put toward paying down the principal amount on our debt. It will be difficult as we have decided to cut things that we have previously considered necessities. We will be getting rid of our home internet which will be a big adjustment and means that I won't have many opportunities to blog or keep up with my friends on Facebook.

We are excited to see what God is planning to teach us through this. We pray that not only will He bless us financially but that we will also be drawn closer to Him as a family. We will also be using this time to pray and seek God's will concerning the next step for our family. We covet the prayers of our friends and family during this time and I will keep you update on our lives as much as I can over the next few months.

Accident Day

This morning Scott took time to give the kids and me an extra hug and kiss when saying good-bye.

That's because today is "Accident Day."

One year ago today started out completely normal. It was a cold and windy February day but after a long winter of LOTS of snow we were glad to see the sun shining and no snow in the forecast for the day.

The day was really completely ordinary for all of us - well that is until it wasn't.

It was a completely normal day and like we often do Scott and I use his 1/2hr drive home from work to talk on the phone and catch up on the events of the day.

I still get a sickish knot in my stomach when I think about the next few minutes. My first thought was something like "Oh great he just put the van in the ditch" but soon realized from the tone in Scott's voice that it was much more serious than being stuck in the ditch.

Scott was not in a ditch. The van hit a patch of black ice caused by blowing snow along with a big gust of wind which sent the van through the median into the oncoming lane of traffic where it flipped and landed on its side. Fortunately the seatbelt worked just as it was designed but unfortunately that meant that Scott was now suspended in the van unable to get free from the seatbelt. I sat on the other end of the phone listening to my husband as he tried to get free from the seatbelt so he could get out of the van all the while knowing that at any moment a semi or really any other vehicle appear in the lane also unable to stop because of the ice and come crashing into him.

Within seconds of his accident a car came by in the lane Scott had been travelling (not the one he was stuck in). The driver pulled over and ran through the median. He was able to climb in through the back of the van so Scott could push up off of him allowing the seatbelt to release.

I am so amazed and thankful to that man. I do not know who he is and will likely never meet him but he was willing to risk his life by climbing into our van while it was sitting in an ice covered lane of interstate traffic.

Another amazing aspect of this story is that while within seconds of the accident someone had driven by on the opposite side of the interstate and stopped to help during the entire time Scott was stuck in the van (probably about 5 min but it seemed like FOREVER) not one vehicle came by in the side of the interstate where the van was! This is a very major interstate and even in bad weather trucks continue to zoom along this road.

Scott walked away from the accident without as much as a bruise! He was a little sore mainly from being suspended by the seatbelt and struggling to get free but there were no visible marks, scrapes etc on him.

The week after this accident which so easily could have had a very tragic ending was when our daughter was conceived. Today she turned 3 months old and she is in my arms as I type this. When she was born we gave her the middle name Fidelity which means "Faithful". One of the reasons she was given that middle name was because of this accident and God's faithfulness to our family by not only sparing Scott's life but then choosing to bless our family with another new life.

Today is "Accident Day" and it is a day to celebrate God's goodness to us.

Naptime and a Reminder of God's Omnipresence

I'll be honest with you all and admit that this Mommy loves nap time. I love the "sound" of silence as soon as the kids are asleep. I usually manage to get about 45min-1hr of precious silence in the middle of the day to spend thinking, praying, exercise, etc to help me make it through to bedtime without completely losing it.

Well unfortunately for me lately James has decided that he does not think nap time is really all that valuable. So when I put him down for nap as soon as the door is closed he will pop out of bed and begin playing or aggravating his older brother. As soon as I open the door to put him back to bed he dashes for his bed or if he is feeling especially tricky he listens for me as I walk down the hall and by the time I get to the door he is already back in bed with a look that says "See Mommy I'm just laying here in bed like you told me."

Anyway this afternoon at nap time he was not wanting to stay in bed. When I opened the door and saw him running back to bed as fast as his little legs would go I was struck by the realization that James knows that when Mommy can see him that he is going to get in trouble for disobeying. And I was suddenly reminded of the omnipresence of God.

On Sunday nights our church has started to go through a video series titled The Truth Project. One of the things that is stressed is the question "Do you believe what you believe is really real?" While we may say that we believe one thing what we actually practice and live out is what we really believe is true. Today as I put James down for his nap I begin to ponder if I truly live my life in a way that shows that I believe that God is omnipresent. In other words do I live in such a way that my actions show that I believe that God is always present with me.

When one of my kids dumps their plate of food on the floor do I respond the same way as I would if God was sitting at the dinner table with us?

When I am trying to prepare a meal and my boys will not stop fighting with each other do I respond the same way I would if God was standing in the kitchen with me?

If God was sitting in my living room would I be tempted to check Facebook instead of spending time talking to Him?

Would I speak sarcastically or in frustration to my husband or children if I truly believed God was in ear shot?

When I am in church do I worship or listen to the sermon in the same way I would if I could see God sitting in the service next to me?

Unfortunately all to often I am like James who thinks obedience is only necessary when a parent is there to see him being naughty. All to often my actions demonstrate that I do not believe that God is always present with me every minute of every day. As I put James back in bed "one more time" I pray that one day he will learn to obey even when he can't see me. I also take a moment to pray that I will learn to demonstrate that same obedience to my heavenly Father.

Happy Birthday Little Sister!

When I was growing up I wanted a sister. I was the oldest and then I had two brothers younger than me. When my second brother was born I was very disappointed that he was not a girl. I was very close to some of my cousins growing up and they had 3 girls in their family. I loved going to visit them.

I wanted to have a sister to share my bedroom.

I wanted someone who would talk and laugh late into the night with me.

I wanted someone to share my clothes.

My friends who had sisters thought I was crazy when I would tell them this.

God did answer my prayers just not in my timing. Twenty-one years ago today my first sister was born. I still remember sitting in my great-grandma's living room when the phone rang. I sat there so anxiously expecting to hear that I had another brother. But much to my surprise and delight at the age of 11 1/2 I had a little sister!

Those of you who know me and my family know that not only did God answer my prayer He gave me more than I could have ever anticipated and I now have four sisters. My sisters are some of my closest friends in my life and I am so very thankful for all of them.

But today I am especially thankful for Rose, my very first sister.

Rose, you will always have a very special place in my heart. You were God's answer to my many years of praying. I have so many memories but these are a few that have come to mind today.

I remember the blizzard the day you were born.

I remember the day you prayed to accept God's gift of salvation.

I remember how excited you were when we got our dog, Sammy.

I remember when you were 8 years old and your picture won best of show in the youth section (up to age 18) and your picture was in the paper.

I remember taking you to the penny change park the day after mom's funeral to celebrate your 11th birthday.

I remember watching with great pride as you gave the valedictorian speech at your high school graduation.

I have so many memories of laughing with you, celebrating holidays, and birthdays.

Twenty-one years ago today my life changed forever when God answered my prayer and gave me a little sister.

"What Is" and "What Will Be"

<sup>Ten years ago today I stood beside a hospital bed holding my mother's hand as she passed from this world into the presence of her Savior. It is a day that I will never forget and even after ten years the memory of that day is still vivid in my mind. The fact that the memory of that day is still so vivid often makes it hard for me to believe that it really had been 10 years.

So many times since my mom died I find myself contemplating many "what ifs" and "why" scenarios. What if my mom had lived to see me graduate from college? What if she had lived to meet my husband? Why couldn't she have lived to attend my wedding or to see my sisters graduate from high school or to see and hold her grandchildren?

Over the years when these thoughts come into my mind they often quickly lead to wondering why God allowed the cancer and why He chose to take my mom when it would seem from a human perspective that she still had a lot to accomplish here on earth.

I have found that dwelling on the "what ifs" and "whys" in life cloud my mind and keep me from focusing on "what is" and "what will be".

These "what ifs" and "whys" take my focus away from the fact that God has blessed me with a loving husband and three precious children.

Most importantly dwelling on the "what ifs" and "whys" take my focus away from "what will be". There are so many passages in Scripture that assure us that for a believer death is hopeful. One day all believers will spend eternity in the presence of God worshiping Him forever! God has used First Thessalonians 4:13-18 to comfort me many times over the past ten years when I am tempted to dwell on the "what ifs and "whys"..

I am so thankful that I serve a God who is sovereign, good, and faithful even when we do not understand.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18
13</sup>But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.

¹⁴For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.

¹⁵For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.

¹⁶For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

¹⁷Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.

¹⁸Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Basket of Rocks

For Christmas this year I gave my husband a basket of rocks.

Yep, you read right a basket of rocks and guess what? He loved it and told me it was the best gift he received this year.

The reason why my husband was so thrilled to receive a basket of rocks because it is a tangible reminder of God's faithfulness to our family.

When the Israelites crossed the Jordan river into the land of Cannan God told them to take 12 stones from the middle of the river (because God had parted the river and they walked across on dry land). When they got to the other side they made a pile of these 12 stones. Joshua tells the people that those rocks are a reminder to their children and grandchildren of the faithfulness of God. When they saw that pile of rocks they were to use that as an opportunity to remember and tell their children about how God had faithfully led them out of Egypt to the land He promised them.

So I gave my husband a basket of rocks. On each rock I used a sharpie marker and wrote down a time when God had shown his faithfulness to our family. All throughout Scripture we are commanded to remember the grace and faithfulness of God. It is so easy to forget especially when difficult and trying circumstances arise.

So if you ever come to visit you will likely see our basket of rocks displayed prominently in our living room. When our children ask why we have a basket of rocks in our living room it will be an opportunity to remind them of God's faithfulness. I look forward to adding many more rocks to our basket as the years pass. I love that every day there is a reminder sitting in our living room reminding me and our family that God is powerful and sovereign in our lives.


Scott opening his basket of rocks.